Russel The Snowman! and Temple Square

The other day, my boyfriend and I decided that we wanted to go sledding. The sledding itself lasted all of 10 minutes... but we ended up doing something even better. We built a snowman named Russel, complete with a full face, hair, and arms with hands on them. He is quite possibly the best snowman EVER! We thought he was gonna be a lot uglier than he really turned out to be. He was quite lopsided when we started, but we smoothed him out a bit and he ended up being quite handsome. hahaha. Brandon and I took pictures with the snowman and were a little sad when we discovered the kids in the neighborhood had helped the sun destroy him. But Russel is preserved in memory and pictures!

Later that day, after a delicious lunch of grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, The Dark Knight, and a nap, we went to a YSA (Young Single Adults) activity that involved all the YSA groups in our stake. We rode the tracks down to SLC and went to temple square. It was super fun, and I got some awesome pictures. We talked to two sister missionaries for a while from Hong Kong and Switzerland. It was super fun to talk to them and Amy, my friend, was lit up like a flashlight when talking to them. She is going on a mission next month to Kinewik (I have no idea how to spell it) Washington, Spanish Speaking. Brandon is excited that she is going Spanish speaking because he speaks spanish too. He learned it on his mission in Paraguay. It was a super fun night. An over-all super successful day!

How Interesting Life Is

There are so many things that I am trying to figure out in my life at this moment. I feel like I have a pretty good handle on life and that I am doing a fairly good job at maintaining my sanity, but life always throws you curves. Always.

As of late, I am still dating Brandon and I love it. We have so much fun together. Seriously. I can not think of anyone that I love being with as much as him. There are things in our relationship that we are still working out though. One of those things is FEAR. We are both scared of what may or may not happen between us. We both want more to come of what we have, but our relationship is still so young. I'm learning that both of us are pretty impatient people and we just want answers now, but I think that this is for sure a learning time for both of us. We care about each other enough that we are trying to be as patient as possible to see if things will really work out. I'm confident that no matter what happens between us we will continue to have great times together. I adore him.

Another thing that has me a little thrown off balance is school. I love school, and I am happy to say that I had a very successful Fall Semester and am stoked to be returning to Weber State for the Spring Semester, but I am also super anxious about it. I felt as though I was finally getting the hang of how things work in college and BAM! every thing is gonna change now. That's life though, is it not? The only thing constant in life is change. I know I'm going to have to work super hard this semester to keep on top of everything, and I hope I can do it. I just have to make sure that I keep my priorities straight. Church, School, Family/Friends. Work will fit in there eventually, if I ever get a freaking job!

Which brings me to my next thing; finding a job. I have been working hard to find a job. Really I have, but I have yet to find one. I have applied at multiple places, and then applied at more places, and then applied at more, and have not received one call. I'm not the only one having this problem though. I know of lots of people that need jobs that are having trouble finding one. My friend, who is a waitress, says that she can probably hook me up with a job as a hostess at the restaurant that she works for though so hopefully something will come of that. I am also going to audition for an Entertainment spot at Lagoon this summer. That should be fun if I get in. I feel that it would be good for me to have a job in which I get to do what I love! Who doesn't want to get up every day and go sing and dance? I feel that it would be good for my ADD too! haha.

All in all, I feel that life is good. Obviously there are a few things that I am worried about, but we are always growing and learning in this life; that's what it is for! I am so blessed and have so many amazing friends, family, and opportunities before me. I know that the Lord won't give me anything that I can not handle, and that he will help me though things that I am struggling with. He has never failed me, and I am confident that he never will. The things that have helped me get through my hard times and are still continuing to do so are as follows: reading my scriptures, attending all my church meetings, looking for ways to perform service, and prayer. I love all of these things. These are the tools that the Lord has given us to help us obtain happiness. I am happy, and I thank the Lord for it.

As It Stands Now

At this point in my life there is a lot for me to consider. School is going great, but I have kind of let myself fall behind in my computer class. I'm hoping that it will continue to be easy, and thus easy to make up, but I don't know... There is yet ANOTHER test that I have to take in my Intro to Theater class that I am the farthest from thrilled about; his tests are ridiculous and I haven't been doing very well on them... I've had all semester to write a 5 page paper on Kiss Me Kate and of course I'm just starting it now and it's due this Monday... and school is just super stressful. I think I need to truly just go to work, and put my faith in the Lord. I know he'll help me if I am doing all that I can do.

Apart from school, I am dating this boy and he is awesome. He treats me so well, we have no trouble talking about anything and everything, we are both extremely honest with each other, we have so much fun together, we are comfortable around each other, and things are just great. He makes me so happy, and he says I make him happy, yet I have good reason to believe that my feelings for him are stronger than his are for me. It's alright, I mean, love comes slowly sometimes... and I'm not saying I'm in love with him, but I definitely think I could be someday... and hopefully he will feel the same for me at that point. He says he considers me like his girlfriend... but I'm not exactly his girlfriend. We are both a little scared about being official with each other... I'm not sure why, but hopefully we'll figure it out soon.

My life is happy. I am happy. Sure I'm stressed and I want to figure the whole thing with my boy out, but I am happy. I have much to be grateful for, and I have many friends and a great family that bring so much happiness to my life. I know that I will get through my trials if I do all that I can and trust in the Lord. He is my one and only constant in this life. I know I can depend on him.

Now, to work.

YOU

Happiness.

I never imagined

such feelings could touch me again,

and yet I feel them when

you are near.

Confident that I would never

find a man who would

cause my lips to smile,

I had given up on my chances

of joy with a man.

Then you entered my life and

gave me a reason to give

mankind a chance.

Both young, and with much to learn,

you and I are both new to this,

but I am quickly falling;

faster than anticipated.

You make my heart race

and my soul calm,

simultaneously.

I find I am slightly afraid of

falling in love with you.

Though I somehow think

I’ve already begun to fall.

The gravity of my feelings

is tugging and pulling

my heart down into the comfort of your arms.

I let it rest there comfortably.

You are the one person that

fills my heart with joy.

To be with you is the one thing

I find myself constantly wishing for.

No matter how many hours

I spend wrapped in your arms

it never seems to be enough.

This could be all that I’ve longed for,

but even if our love doesn’t last

you have been exactly what

my heart has been in need of.

You are all I could want now

and possibly forever,

but only time can tell if forever is to be.

Be with me always?

I long to hear you say, “Yes.”

The Plan

I am starting up “The Plan” again. The Plan is a healthy eating plan that one of my good friends Mallary and I came up with. It consists of eating nothing but fresh fruits, vegetables, and meats, and sticking to pretty much the basics of drinks; water, milk, and orange juice on occasion. I don’t feel that I need to loose much weight, I actually feel quite good about my weight, but I would like to keep it where it is and if at all possible lose like.... 5 pounds. This shouldn’t be hard if I stick to the plan and exercise. The plan really works, and it makes me feel super good. I feel like I have more energy when I eat healthily like that, and when you’re putting good things into your body, you crave good things. It’s a good habit to get into.

Mallary and I started doing The Plan a couple weeks before Evita opened so that we would look good in our costumes and such. As soon as the show got going, however, neither of us really had time for healthy eating. At that point you just kinda grab whatever is around and eat it. Nutrition is hard to come by when you’re in a show. I didn’t gain any weight during the show because I was burning off everything that I was eating, even though all I was eating was basically junk food. Now that the show is over though, I know that if I continue eating that way I will inflate like a balloon. Thus, The Plan must be put back into action.

I would also like to slim down because auditions for Spelling Bee, The Light in the Piazza, and Our Town, at Weber State are this month, and I want to look good, and look the part of the characters I would like to play. I don’t really have my heart set on one character, or one show; I would just like to be in at least one of the shows. I want it so badly. But I will do whatever it is they need me to do. If I don’t get cast, I’ll definitely be on the crew or something. I just want to be involved. I have yet to find any really awesome audition songs, but I’m looking and doing my research. Hopefully something amazing will come along.

Most of all, I just want to be healthy. With all the of the diseases and problems that a person can have I am doing my best to avoid or fight off all of them. Taking care of my body is important to me. I want to be as healthy as possible so that I can truly live my life without hinderance. The best way to do that is to take care of myself, so that’s what I’m doing.

Safety Net

Life; a truly beautiful experience.

Many things before me;

chances to find joy.

Experiences to teach me the

lessons of life.

The opportunities of life are

all around me.

Risks to take.

Mistakes to make.

Thoughts of risking myself

frighten me slightly.

Mistakes have never been the

most welcome experience.

Afraid of embarking on new journeys,

where there is much unknown,

I find myself lingering directly above

the safety net.

Yet, there is stronger fear.

Fear of life I may be missing.

There is a bountiful supply of

opportunities before me;

doors yet to be opened.

So many options,

yet who is to know which is best?

I seek the doors withholding experiences

that will fulfill me;

bring me joy and allow me to look back

on my years on Earth

and feel that I truly lived.

So, which is it?

Do I cling to the tight rope and never

soar on the trapeze,

staying within the comfort of the safety net?

The way of definite success?

Safety is appealing.

I could find happiness that way.

I feel, though, I will always wonder what

would have happened had daring

overcome me,

and I had taken the chance:

if I had let go of the trapeze and flown.

So here I am,

at a cross road.

I Have Never Regretted Kindness

I try to be a good person- as I think we all do- and sometimes it's easier than other times, but I feel like I'm on the right track. I don't find it hard to be nice to people, but when they have hurt me repeatedly sometimes I struggle to keep the same feelings of kindness that I had before towards them. I definitely think this is something I need to work on. I think that when I focus on the hurt I feel instead of being kind to those who have caused me pain I am being slightly selfish. I am not going to allow people to hurt me, and I do not have to spend time with those that do hurt me, but I don't have to be mean to them in return. Kindness can still be shown to them.

There are a few quotes that I have found that are partly what got me thinking about this. The first that I found came from a the most recent General Conference talk given by Henry B. Eyring. It reads:

"The joys we experience come from putting the joy of others before our own, and our sorrows come from selfishness...

Pray for the love that allows you to see the good in your companions. The love that allows you to make the mistakes and weaknesses seem small."

The next came from the same conference in a talk given by President Monson, stating:

"I have never felt any regret

for being a little too kind."

So that is my goal. I want to be kind to everyone, no matter what they have done to me. I have not had too hard of a time doing this in the past, but I have found that recently there have been people I trusted that have hurt me, and I find myself being less than kind to them occasionally. I don't want to be that type of person. So I am changing now.

Learning Experiences

In the past couple months or so I have had some very interesting experiences. Within a matter of weeks I went from completely blissfully happy to utterly miserable, and then, gratefully, back to happy. Some of the experiences I went through were pretty tough, but life goes on, and I have learned SO MUCH.

Throughout these events I have learned many things, which are as follows:

1- Easy come, easy go. This applies to many things in life; relationships, friends, jobs, possessions, money, etc... In this case I am referring to friendships/relationships. I have come to realize, in my short time on this Earth, that the friendships worth keeping are the ones that you worked to establish. The relationships that last are the ones that took some time to create. The friendships in which you are "instant best friends" or relationships described as "love at first sight" rarely last. I have a greater appreciation than I had before for the friendships that I can depend on; the ones that are true friendships.

2- Just because someone says you can trust them, doesn't mean that you can. Liars are liars. Flakes are flakes. Enough said.

3- Love can be blind. Do not let your feelings for someone over rule the goals and standards you have set. Just because you love someone does not mean that you have to support or justify whatever it is they are doing. Sometimes you have to love them from a distance.

4- God is ALWAYS there for us. No matter what we are going through the Lord will always provide a way for us to get through it. The trials we are given here in this life are for our benefit; to make us stronger and to help us learn. Our trials are a testament of God's love for us. God hears and answers our prayers. It may not be right away, but when the time is right God will always answer our prayers. The Lord is in everything. We just have to take time to notice his hand in our lives.

So there you have it. Those are some of the things, among many, that I have learned over the past couple months. I am happier for it, and now have more of the tools that I need to get through life and find true happiness.