Tender Mercies

God is good.

Really. He is. And he loves us.

I know he loves us. Loves me.

He shows me daily by his tender mercies.

Recently I have been going to the doctor quite a bit, have lost my retainer (never had braces, but don't want my teeth to move, so I have a retainer) and to replace it is going to be pretty expensive, and also have to pay for a small surgery/the medications for the surgery with the follow up appointments. Obviously this is kind of a lot of money to be spending in one month on just medical stuff. It could be worse, much worse, but still it is a lot and we didn't necessarily budget for it.

This is where the tender mercies come in.

Tender mercy #1- Brandon gets paid every Thursday, so usually he gets 4 weeks of pay, but this month there are 5 Thursdays so there is an "extra" paycheck coming into our account this month. Of all the months to have extra expenses, this is the one to do it!

Tender mercy #2- At the beginning of Summer semester I applied for financial aid. I got $300. Though I am grateful for what I received, it wasn't as much as I had been hoping for and Brandon and I paid the remaining $2,500 for tuition. This morning I received an e-mail saying I had been refunded the money which I had paid for tuition due to a Pell Grant that I have been awarded equalling the amount of tuition for Summer semester. Again, right when we need the money we are taken care of.

I know this is no accident. I know this is a result of Brandon and I paying tithing and having faith that we are doing what the Lord wants us to do and he will bless us for it. And he has! I know that the Lord loves us. I know that he wants us to be happy and is looking for ways to bless us. I am so grateful for that knowledge and so grateful for the blessings and tender mercies that the Lord gives me daily.

BREAK

I really need a vacation.

SERIOUSLY.

I am loving life and loving what I am doing but there comes a point when you just need a break!

Ya know?

I am to that point.

Brandon and I are really busy right now and even though we are busy with stuff we love to do (i.e. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, improv, school, work... ok those last two are good for us but maybe not always loved) it is hard to not see each other very often.

If I could just put everything else on hold and escape for a bit, I totally would. I would take Brandon and run away to some sunny place with a beach and just relax and spend every second of every day with Brandon. None of this "Bye honey, I love you, I'll see you at 11:00 tonight" crap. I'm a little done with it. I think next summer, even though I am not regretting taking the classes I am taking, I will only take first block classes and leave the second half of the summer to me and my hubby. I miss him... blah.

Even though I miss him and we're both super busy, I am loving what we are busy with. Seven Brides is a blast so far and I am loving the new people I am meeting. My counterpart is freaking adorable and I love her to death. Part of me is a little sad that we aren't in the same cast! But oh well... Life goes on right? Haha. This cast is super talented though. And they are all such happy people! It's really fun to make new friends and hang out with my love during rehearsal. My sweetheart is the love of my life on and off stage!

I'm so excited for life and the things that it holds. I need a break though. I need a day or two where it is just relaxation time with my darling husband.

Who I Am

Summer semester is moving along just swimmingly. I actually haven't minded being in school cause I still get to sleep in and I'm not there all stinking day like I am in the Fall and Spring semesters. I still feel like I am getting a "summer" but I'm still accomplishing things! It's a good feeling. However, my biology class makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Luckily for me my last test is next Thursday (a week from TOMORROW!!!) and I'll be done with that class from the underworld. Ok, it hasn't been THAT bad. I've actually learned a lot and have really tried to apply myself, but sitting there for 3 hours listening to a mumbling teacher wears on you. Especially when his tests are overly complicated and brutal. One more week. I can hold on until then. And then my other classes start! And possibly the death of my biology class will start all over!

On a non-secular side of school, I started my institute class today and I can already tell I'm going to love it. I missed out on institute last semester and let me tell you what, I am not going to do that again. I am beginning to really see the difference institute makes in my life. It's really nice to be able to go somewhere and learn something different; something that you know you will keep with you forever no matter what. It's a very rare feeling. I love it. The spirit I felt just in my first class was awesome and I can tell that it is only going to get better. If only you could see the excitement on my face!

Speaking of feeling the spirit, I have begun the Young Women's Personal Progress program again. I finished it when I was young women's at the age of 14, so it has been a while since I have done it and all of the lessons and teachings apply so much differently in my life as a 20 year old wife than as they did when I was a 14 year old 8th grader. I am loving going through it and really trying to make continuous progress in my life. It has been fun for me. Also, Caitlin is working hard to get hers done as well, so I have promised that I will work along side her as much as I can to help her finish it before she turns 18 in a year (yikes!). We are making good headway though and I am confident that she will finish on time if she sticks with it! It is fun to have that time with Caitlin. I miss her a lot sometimes and it is really good to be able to hang out with her.

Along with personal progress I am trying to really be better about me. I am trying to do better to take care of myself, to love myself, to find joy in myself, and to make myself the person that I want to be. So, along with my efforts in exercise and diet, I decided (with some encouragement from my mother) that it was time to see my doctor about my weight problem and a couple other health things I have been dealing with. I think this was a good move, even though he drew blood and my eyes watered (no I am not a pansy.....), I still feel like he can really help me figure out what is going on with me. I am so grateful for modern medicine and doctors who care about their patients. I am so grateful for health insurance that allows me to go to the doctor without ridiculous bills resulting from my visit. We truly live in blessed times, and I realize that I am very blessed.

On a completely different note, Chloe had a dance recital the other day. She is so stinking cute I can't even stand it. She is such a sweet, beautiful, loving, innocent, happy child. I love her so much and am so proud of her and her desire to develop her talents. She can sure shake that thang up on that stage. I love that girl! Pictures to come!

Sigh...

Struggling with my weight...

Still...

Again...

Forever...?

Uhg.

I just want to feel good about myself.

I try really really hard for a long time...

See no results....

Feel sad....

Eat a lot...

And lose it all...

SO YEAH.

I really just need to get back on the horse.

I'm still exercising,

Just not eating as well as I could.

GIVE ME STRENGTH.

I need it.