Tell me I can beat this

So... I was listening to the radio and there was a "quit smoking help line" add or something, and I was surprised at how much I feel I relate to a smoker at this point in my life. The reasons are as follows:

1. I fear I formed a habit (maybe more than one) that I'm trying to kick.

2. I do not like how this habit makes me feel, look, etc...

3. I want to kick it, but I need some solid help.

4. I know it's bad for me, and I know I'll be happier without it, yet it's engrained in me and I don't know how to get rid of it.

I don't remember exactly how the commercial went, but it said something along the lines of, "Smoking was something I

had tried to rid from my life for a long time, but until the smoking quit-line I just couldn't stick with it. It's nice to have someone there who is strong and helps you through your cravings or moments of weakness. I know that there is always someone I can turn to to help me become the person I want to be."

Now let me ask you this: DOES THAT NOT SOUND LIKE IT COULD APPLY TO A WEIGHT LOSS PROBLEM?

I was astounded. Maybe that's what I need. No, I know that's what I need. I need someone I can talk to when I need encouragement, or when I am feeling like I am the chubbiest girl in the world and want to cry myself to sleep, or when all my cute little friends eat cookies and Burger King and candy and pizza ALL THE TIME and offer it to me or give me some or get me something just because they are kind. I have cute little friends that tell me they'll help me out or "be good" with me and eat only healthy things, but then I see them the next day and they're eating McDonalds and rice crispy treats, and I'm not going to tell them what they can and can't eat, but it makes it hard on me. I just need some support. My mom has been a great support to me, but sometimes it's hard for me to talk to her about it... because I need encouragement A LOT, and I know it makes her uncomfortable sometimes when I bring up my insecurity about my weight. So, as much as I love her and she supports me, I just need something else.

One thing she is TOTALLY right about though is, I need to forget about the excuses. I need to stop making them and JUST DO IT. Just make what I want to happen, happen. I have to say though, it is hard.

I have never had this hard of a time doing this either. Maybe this is an excuse, but I'm fairly positive that it has some

thing to do with the birth control I'm on. I am on the NuvaRing and since I got married I have gained 12 pounds! HOLY CRAP! Not OK. And I feel like I have to constantly eat. I don't constantly eat, but I definitely could. Which is weird, cause I've never been like that before. I've always been the kind of person that could eat a little and be satisfied but could eat a lot if she wanted to. Thus, I'm thinking it might be the birth control. Maybe I should switch birth controls??? I dunno.

Can you see the difference??? I can.

Anyway, I know I sound so pathetic and like a whiney baby, but what are blogs for if not to say how you really feel? So I don't really feel that bad about this debbie downer post.

On a happier note, I have pretty awesome friends. Even though we don't really

hang out, Bailee and Elise have been such blessings in my life this week. I love them so much. They are two of the most beautiful girls I know, inside and out, and such sweethearts. They have given me so much encouragement and been there to listen to me when I need to vent. Thank you girls for being amazing. They help me remember what is truly beautiful about a woman, and what is truly important too. They are so amazing. I really need to remember who I really am, and let that effect my life more than my weight does.

"This too shall pass."

"I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, who loves me, and I love him."