As It Stands Now

At this point in my life there is a lot for me to consider. School is going great, but I have kind of let myself fall behind in my computer class. I'm hoping that it will continue to be easy, and thus easy to make up, but I don't know... There is yet ANOTHER test that I have to take in my Intro to Theater class that I am the farthest from thrilled about; his tests are ridiculous and I haven't been doing very well on them... I've had all semester to write a 5 page paper on Kiss Me Kate and of course I'm just starting it now and it's due this Monday... and school is just super stressful. I think I need to truly just go to work, and put my faith in the Lord. I know he'll help me if I am doing all that I can do.

Apart from school, I am dating this boy and he is awesome. He treats me so well, we have no trouble talking about anything and everything, we are both extremely honest with each other, we have so much fun together, we are comfortable around each other, and things are just great. He makes me so happy, and he says I make him happy, yet I have good reason to believe that my feelings for him are stronger than his are for me. It's alright, I mean, love comes slowly sometimes... and I'm not saying I'm in love with him, but I definitely think I could be someday... and hopefully he will feel the same for me at that point. He says he considers me like his girlfriend... but I'm not exactly his girlfriend. We are both a little scared about being official with each other... I'm not sure why, but hopefully we'll figure it out soon.

My life is happy. I am happy. Sure I'm stressed and I want to figure the whole thing with my boy out, but I am happy. I have much to be grateful for, and I have many friends and a great family that bring so much happiness to my life. I know that I will get through my trials if I do all that I can and trust in the Lord. He is my one and only constant in this life. I know I can depend on him.

Now, to work.

YOU

Happiness.

I never imagined

such feelings could touch me again,

and yet I feel them when

you are near.

Confident that I would never

find a man who would

cause my lips to smile,

I had given up on my chances

of joy with a man.

Then you entered my life and

gave me a reason to give

mankind a chance.

Both young, and with much to learn,

you and I are both new to this,

but I am quickly falling;

faster than anticipated.

You make my heart race

and my soul calm,

simultaneously.

I find I am slightly afraid of

falling in love with you.

Though I somehow think

I’ve already begun to fall.

The gravity of my feelings

is tugging and pulling

my heart down into the comfort of your arms.

I let it rest there comfortably.

You are the one person that

fills my heart with joy.

To be with you is the one thing

I find myself constantly wishing for.

No matter how many hours

I spend wrapped in your arms

it never seems to be enough.

This could be all that I’ve longed for,

but even if our love doesn’t last

you have been exactly what

my heart has been in need of.

You are all I could want now

and possibly forever,

but only time can tell if forever is to be.

Be with me always?

I long to hear you say, “Yes.”

The Plan

I am starting up “The Plan” again. The Plan is a healthy eating plan that one of my good friends Mallary and I came up with. It consists of eating nothing but fresh fruits, vegetables, and meats, and sticking to pretty much the basics of drinks; water, milk, and orange juice on occasion. I don’t feel that I need to loose much weight, I actually feel quite good about my weight, but I would like to keep it where it is and if at all possible lose like.... 5 pounds. This shouldn’t be hard if I stick to the plan and exercise. The plan really works, and it makes me feel super good. I feel like I have more energy when I eat healthily like that, and when you’re putting good things into your body, you crave good things. It’s a good habit to get into.

Mallary and I started doing The Plan a couple weeks before Evita opened so that we would look good in our costumes and such. As soon as the show got going, however, neither of us really had time for healthy eating. At that point you just kinda grab whatever is around and eat it. Nutrition is hard to come by when you’re in a show. I didn’t gain any weight during the show because I was burning off everything that I was eating, even though all I was eating was basically junk food. Now that the show is over though, I know that if I continue eating that way I will inflate like a balloon. Thus, The Plan must be put back into action.

I would also like to slim down because auditions for Spelling Bee, The Light in the Piazza, and Our Town, at Weber State are this month, and I want to look good, and look the part of the characters I would like to play. I don’t really have my heart set on one character, or one show; I would just like to be in at least one of the shows. I want it so badly. But I will do whatever it is they need me to do. If I don’t get cast, I’ll definitely be on the crew or something. I just want to be involved. I have yet to find any really awesome audition songs, but I’m looking and doing my research. Hopefully something amazing will come along.

Most of all, I just want to be healthy. With all the of the diseases and problems that a person can have I am doing my best to avoid or fight off all of them. Taking care of my body is important to me. I want to be as healthy as possible so that I can truly live my life without hinderance. The best way to do that is to take care of myself, so that’s what I’m doing.