Monday, February 27, 2012

Feeling Good :)

It's amazing to me how doing just a few simple things in your life can make you feel soooo much better! So amazing how that works. I guess those nutritionists know what they're talking about. Who knew that being healthy would make you happy too!?! Just kidding... But really. Simple things like

Drinking at least 64 ounces of water every day (event though it makes me have to pee every 5 minutes)

Exercising every day

Laughing every day (hard)

Eating frequent, healthy, small meals

Taking vitamins

Avoiding junk food

Getting enough sleep

Stretching

and others, have really made a difference in how I feel about myself every single day. I feel like I am finally making some progress on my weight loss (FINALLY) and I just feel over all better.

Now, along with being a better person on the outside, I want to be a better person on the inside. I have been gathering a list of qualities that I would like to have that I have seen in the people around me, and things that I want to add to my life, and I will probably continue to add to this list, but this is what I have so far:

Morning Prayers

Personal Scripture Study (while continuing Scripture Study with my sweet husband)

Supporting, even more, my husband in all of his endeavors

Taking the opportunity everyday to serve someone around me

NO SWEARING (not even the funny ones) I have been better about this, but I can do even better than I have been.

Keeping a constant prayer in my heart

Making a list of things that I am grateful for every single day

Making sure I tell the important people in my life how much they mean to me, every single day

No negativity coming from me EVER

Doing something special/significant for my husband as frequently as possible

Realizing my abilities and allowing myself to use them for good and feel good about my work.

Now, maybe these things sound stupid, but I feel that they are important. There are many people in my life who display these qualities or do these things every day and I wish to be like them. I wish to have the positive influence on those around me that these people have had on me. If nothing else, I wish to make myself the kind of person that I would want to hang out with.

So here's to working on being a better person on the inside and the outside!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Valentine's Day and Random Ramblings

Yesterday was Valentine's Day! My 2nd ever with a Valentine! Hee :) I have the best husband in the entire world. He got me a huge vase of the most gorgeous pink and white lilies! I think they are stargazer lilies? I'm not sure. They're gorgeous though and are so fragrant! And the best part is? They haven't all bloomed yet so I get to watch them bloom and keep them around for a long time! I'll post some pictures of them later :) He also wrote me an adorable poem. He's such a stinkin cutie. I LOVE HIM.

We went to Outback Stake House which was super fun and cheap (not really, but we had a $50 gift card so we paid barely anything at all!) and delicious :) After we went home and got to bed at a pretty decent hour for once in our lives. It was an awesome Valentine's Day. I'm so grateful for my sweet husband. He is the best valentine anyone could ever ask for.

So now on to the Random Ramblings part of this, which is mostly just going to be a bunch of things that have been/are on my mind:

- What is it going to take for me to feel good about myself? I mean, I've lost 15 pounds, which is fabulous, and means that I am back to where I was when I got married... but I wanted to lose weight before I got married too... so therefore I'm pretty much just back to where I was when I was less chubby, but still chubby. FRUSTRATING. Everyone keep saying "Wow Linds you look sooo skinny! You look good!" and I'm so grateful for that. Extremely grateful. It makes my day better every time someone says something like that. Before I lost weight people kept saying "I don't think you need to lose weight" or "where are you going to lose 15 pounds from?" or "You're about as thin as you can get I think" and I am grateful that people thought I was fine the way I was, but it's interesting to me because no one thought that I needed to lose weight before and now that I have everyone is like "you look great!" I then I tell them thank you and that I want to lose 15 more pounds and people say the exact same thing as they did before (where are you going to lose 15 pounds from? you're already so skinny!...). So I guess I'm just frustrated because people were telling me I was thin 15 pounds ago, and now they're telling me I'm thin again and I still have 15 pounds I want to lose... I dunno how to explain what I'm feeling. I guess I just feel like no one will be honest with me or I see something that is completely and totally different from what they see. How come it is ok for other girls who are already skinny to be skinny, but when I say that I want to lose 15 more pounds and be 120 instead of 135 people tell me that I shouldn't lose weight or that I look fine. I mean.... I may look ok, but I want to feel good about myself. GAHHH.... so much rambling and probably none of it makes any sense. Anyway... I have a goal of 15 more pounds to lose, and I WILL DO IT. I don't know how, I don't know when, I don't know much about it at all... but I know that is what I want... and I know I can get there eventually.

- I feel sick... and it's like a bunch of different sicks that alternate. A few days ago I had an insane migraine, the day after that I had this weird bruisey feeling all over my torso, shoulders, neck, and jaw, the day after that I felt like I would pass out if I didn't get some sleep, yesterday I felt like my throat was coated with sand paper, today I feel nauseous and bloated.... Yay.

- I miss Xanadu. Seriously. I miss it soooo much. I miss seeing my friends. I miss singing that music. I miss being silly. I miss my comfy cute costume, I miss the glitter, I miss the work out that it was, I miss the high I got from it, I miss the camaraderie of the cast.... I think the only thing I don't miss is doing my hair in a fro every night. I must say, though, that I really loved having a fro. It was super fun. My hair just couldn't handle it any more though. It was falling out in big ol' handfuls! Not good at all. But I am babying my hair now, so hopefully it will not all fall out.

- Speaking of hair, I did something fun with mine :) Nothing big, but a little different. Pictures later.

- I'm auditioning for a lot of stuff in the next month or so! I'm really excited about it. Hopefully something good will come out of it and I'll be able to do another show that I love. I love theater. It is seriously my favorite thing to do, other than be with my husband, and I am so lucky that I get to go to school to perfect my craft.

- I'm wondering what kind of person I am. Not in a dramatic way or anything, I'm just wondering what kind of people are my "kindred spirits." I am wondering what kind of people I would find a best friend in. Does that make any sense? Probably not.

- In a perfect world I would get to spend as much time with my husband as I want and still get everything done that I need to get done. Someday, I hope I find that perfect world. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

- I am amazed at how many talented people I get to surround myself with every single day. I am so lucky to be able to learn from all of them. I am so blessed to have so many amazing examples around me. I hope someday to be half of what the people around me are. If I can do that, I will have achieved much.

- I need to remember that I am allowed to feel good about the things I am doing. I am allowed to believe I can do good things.


Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. Hope everyone has a wonderful day!!!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Seinfeld

So, Seinfeld is supposed to be "a show about nothing" and this is a post about nothing.

Nice segue right?

Really though, I feel like I need to write something, to log something, but I don't know what it is... So here I am just completely and totally rambling until I figure out what it is I need to write (if I ever figure it out)....

Ya know, I haven't written about my weight in a while, and it has been on purpose, but I have to say... I hate this ongoing battle with my weight and my self. I don't know why I can't just tone up and be done with it. I mean, it's not like I'm not doing the work. It's not like I'm not eating healthy. It's not like I don't have muscle. I am doing/have all of those things. And yet I continue to jiggle. It just doesn't make sense. I feel like it's some cruel joke- "Ok Lindsea, you're going to have a body for the 40's-50's but you're going to be born in 1990." Haha really funny. NOT.

Anyway, enough about that. Just had to get it out of my system.

School is pretty much awesome this semester. I'm sure that come April I'm going to be begging for it to end, but for now, I'm going to enjoy the fact that I like school. Which hasn't happened in a while. I am feeling pretty good about my classes and everything seems to be running smoothly. I love all of those words.

Other random thoughts zooming through my brain:
- What qualifies someone as "beautiful"? I know they (whoever "they" is) say beauty is in the eye of the beholder... and I guess that makes sense to me. But still. I just wonder.
- I need to refresh all the math I ever learned so that I can test into 1050... yay...
- I have a very strong desire to follow the example of a dear friend and be less negative. I am not really a negative person, but I have a tendency to let people who are negative influence me to be negative... if that doesn't make sense to anyone but me, I apologize.
- I love design classes. I love the thought process. I love all of the drawing. I love the creativity. I love the opportunity to create. I love it all. I wish I could double major in Musical Theater and Design. Why is that not allowed?
- I have noticed that I am a little be OCD when it comes to my calendars and planners. They have to be perfect and completely updated ALL THE TIME. As soon as I realize something is missing I add it immediately. Seriously. I will drop everything I am doing to update my calendar and planner. Crazy? Maybe. Most likely.
- I have a massive blister on my right foot from breaking in my new roller skates (hugest smile ever) at classic skating. But let me tell you, it is totally worth it. I love skating! I have found a new lifetime hobby! Also, I felt pretty cool tonight when a lady on a roller derby team told me that I should join their team. Yup, I felt legit at that moment, if only for a moment :)
- I can not wait for voice lessons to begin.
- I'm remembering how much I love to play the piano... and how much I miss it. I am seriously terrible at playing the piano now... which breaks my heart. Not that I need to add another thing to my list of things to do during the week, but I think if I ever find a way to make money I am going to use a portion of it to start taking piano lessons again. It is a skill I don't want to lose.
- I am so grateful for all of the talent that I am surrounded by daily. Seriously. Some people are so ridiculously talented. It's awesome.
- I think $2 Tuesdays at classic skating are going to become a regular thing for me. I know, enough with the skating. But I love it!
- I tidied and cleaned my house today and did a bunch of laundry. I love the feeling of a nice clean house.
- I love dancing. It is so fulfilling. Even if I'm not the best dancer or the skinniest or the prettiest or even if I don't always point my toes... I love dance. It satisfies a part of my soul that can't be satisfied any other way. Thank you Dad for creating a love for performing and dance in my life. I LOVE YOU!
- I have the absolute best husband in the world. Really. He works soooooo hard and is such an amazing person. I am truly blessed to be his wife and to be able to be with him for all eternity. I am also grateful that he puts up with me as much as he does. He is so patient and kind. I hope to be more like him. I'm also super proud of him and his decision to pursue his dream of being a sports broadcaster. He is well on his way and I think he is great at what he does. And did I mention that he is HOT?! I know, I am so freaking lucky! I definitely got the better end of this deal. True love and he is completely sexy. Ok, I'll be done now :)

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Etsy!

So I have recently started a shop on Etsy to sell my headbands! I am super excited about it. Please take a second to check it out and like my page :) It would be much appreciated! Also, keep an eye out for coupon codes and discounts that I will be sharing on this blog! Especially for the upcoming Valentines Day collection :)

Thursday, January 5, 2012

New Year's Resolutions

Here we go:

- Make a habit of going to the gym
- Focus on being healthy instead of skinny
- No picking my face or arms or back or anything
- Attend institute
- Make all my classes important and get good grades in all of them
- get back into piano
- Contribute to our finances by getting a job or something
- Be better about Journal keeping
- Be better about morning prayers
- Be better about my personal scripture study
- remember that every day is a good day if I have learned something

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Looking Back

Looking back on the past year it is crazy to think about how much has happened, how much has changed, how much I've grown, how much I've learned, and so much more.... It's so interesting to think about the year in the life of a person, even if that person is only yourself. Actually, I think that can be the most interesting year to look back on, a year in the life of yourself, because only you can remember how you felt, what you learned, and all of the little things that no one else sees. I don't always take time to look back into the year I just lived when it is about to come to a close, which is a shame because I think that it is worth the time. So here I am, remembering the past year.

(These are just some and they are in no particular order)

Things I loved about 2011
- Experiencing all the "Firsts" with my husband (Ex: first Valentines Day, first Thanksgiving, etc...)
- Figuring out that paying bills doesn't have to be as scary as I thought it was.
- XANADU!
- Getting off of birth control (not to try to get pregnant, but to stop the insanity)
- Getting a doggy
- Having a Valentine for the very first time in my whole life!
- Being able to attend the temple often.
- Really getting into my vintage clothing style/obsession :)
- Learning to play improv and being asked to be on the troupe (a life long dream)
- Learning to roller skate! And owning my very own pair of roller skates! Another lifelong dream :)
- Gavin coming home from his mission!
- Teaching the 16-18 year old Sunday School class
- Legacy
- The last Harry Potter movie coming out.
- Starting the Harry Potter books again.
- Voice lessons with Jim

Things I didn't love about 2011
- Having our house get burgled.
- Not getting to spend a lot of time with Brandon during school semesters.
- Getting super chubby on birth control.
- Being super overwhelmed with school.
- Not being able to handle Cooper for the first little while. And a little bit now, but it's better.
- The hundreds of dollars that we spent on medical bills for me.
- Demanding people.
- Not having air conditioning or heat (it wasn't THAT bad, but it wasn't super comfortable)
- Gas prices reaching $4.00

Things I will always remember about 2011
- It was the first year with my husband!
- Macey and Curtis, Ellie and Brandon, and a BUNCH of my friends got married :)
- Celebrating our first year anniversary
- Learning so much about myself and making big life decisions
- All of the above and below things

Crazy adventures I had during 2011
- Birth control. Gah.
- Getting a dog
- Going to SLC with Brandon for our anniversary
- Going to St. George with Brandon and Legacy
- Cooper
- Putting our house together and figuring out how to work the married life.
- Learning how to very effectively use public transportation
- Public transportation
- Learning to cook

Movies I saw during 2011
- Thor
- Captain America
- Harry Potter 7.2
- Kung Fu Panda 2
- Cars 2
- Justin Beiber: Never Say Never
- Alice in Wonderland
- The Muppets
- Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
- The King's Speech

Some of my favorite things during 2011
- Costa Vida
- The color yellow
- converse (I have 18 pairs!)
- vintage clothing, especially skirts and dresses
- Coldplay
- UP
- Tangled
- photography
- painting
- ice cream

Things that happened in the world during 2011
- 9.1 earthquake and tsunami in Japan
- Royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton
- Osama Bin Laden killed by USA military.
- 7.2 earthquake in Turkey
- USA declares an end to the War in Iraq
- Elizabeth Taylor and Steve Jobs died (among others, but still...)

Long Time No Write

I feel a smidgen guilty for not "documenting" in so long, but you know what? I feel that it is more important to be fully in the moment and live it to it's fullest and then go back and write about it than it is to take time out of "the moment" to do so. So here I am being a total insomniac, listening to my husband sleep-talk, and playing major catch up.

First item on the docket: XANADU.
Holy Crap. Best show ever. I kid you not. There has never been a show in which I have loved every single thing, evert single person, every single moment, every single day, EVERYTHING, until now. This show was exactly what I needed at exactly the moment I needed it. What a blessing. I was reminded why I do what I do. I felt a love and passion that I hadn't felt for a while and it was so invigorating. And to make it even better, not only did we get to have an amazing 2 week run, but we get to do it again in February for KCACTF! I'm soooooo stoked. I knew it deep down in my bones that Xanadu would go to KCACTF, and I was not disappointed! I'm so excited and have never been more thrilled to put a show back up. Bliss.

Second: THANKSGIVING.
I think it is just hitting me how sincerely insane it is to try to see all of your parents on one holiday (if, of course, your parents are divorced and remarried however many times). I mean, it's great to see family and all, and totally worth it, but geez! It is exhausting. Brandon and I spent Thanksgiving with his Dad's family and then my mom's family, which was super-de-duper awesome. I am so blessed to have so many great cooks in my life! It was soooo delicious, however, I must say I am pretty freaking proud of myself! I achieved a goal that I have been working on since I discovered what food was; only eating until I am "satisfied" not "full to the rafters." I only had a little serving of my favorite dishes and didn't go back for seconds! I am proud to say that I lost 3 pounds on thanksgiving instead of gaining 10 :) Hallelujah! Now if I can just apply that to the rest of my life, I am set. Brandon and I also celebrated Thanksgiving just the two of us. We had our own little thanksgiving dinner on black friday. We spent all day cooking and preparing and I made everything homemade :) I even made my very first turkey! We did this for two reasons: Reason 1) it was our first thanksgiving together as a married couple and I wanted to do the whole "First Thanksgiving" thing.. I know I'm a sap. Reason 2) I wanted the leftovers! We didn't get any from anyone else's houses so I wanted some for us. What can I say, I'm a fat kid at heart. It was so much fun. We dressed up in our Sunday best and set the table with our nicest stuff and dug in. It was splendid.

And more: ANNIVERSARY NUMERO UNO!!!
Can you believe it has been a year!?! I can hardly believe it, and then again, it feels like so much longer. How can it feel like 10 years and 1 day all at the same time? In all honesty, it doesn't make sense, but that's how it feels. I am seriously the luckiest girl in the entire world. I am so blessed to be married to such a kind, sweet, hilarious, handsome, loving, hard working, talented guy as Brandon. Seriously, I don't deserve him. But I am so grateful that he is mine and I am his. To celebrate our one year anniversary, Brandon took the rest of his unused vacation time off of work so we had a whole week to be together and do whatever the crap we wanted! We started off on Friday the 9th by going down to SLC on the frontrunner (free and don't have to worry about parking!) to see the new Jazz jersey and get a free hotdog at the energy solutions arena. We spent some time looking around the Jazz store, then went to our little hotel The Royal Garden Inn, which was super cute and nice for being pretty freaking cheap :) Love that. We hung around SLC all day and kicked each other's butts in Words With Friends, and then went to P.F. Changs for dinner! It was way fun and super yummy and I got to go somewhere that I had never been before, which is always a fun thing. After dinner we went to see The Muppet Movie then went back to the hotel for some snoozing. The next morning we went to the temple and did sealings. It was so amazing to be back in the temple (even if it wasn't the same one :(.... ) a year later doing sealings. It was a pretty emotional experience for me. So awesome. The next day, on our actual anniversary, we wore our wedding clothes to church (Brandon wore his suit, and I wore the clothes I wore on the way to the temple... I thought wearing my wedding dress to church was probably a bit much... lol) and ate the top of our cake, which was surprisingly amazing! Our freezer is terrible so I was super concerned that it wouldn't last, but it did! Happy! The rest of the week was great just getting to hang out with each other and be together, unlike we did during the semester. It was nice to be with my husband.

And more: CHRISTMAS!
Oh my goodness. What a fun time of year. And crazy. But mostly fun. Brandon and I decided that we were going to really start working on creating traditions this year. So the first tradition we established was when to put up the Christmas decorations. We decided on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, so on the Sunday after Thanksgiving we put up our small pile of Christmas stuff. I love it. It reminds me so much of when I was a kid and helping mom put up all of the decorations around the house. My favorite was the little calendar that you took the presents out of the day and put them in Santa's bag so he had presents to deliver on Christmas. Oh nostalgia.
I also decided that I was going to start my own crazy tradition :) The Twelve Days of Ugly Sweaters! Yes, you read correctly. Wearing the most hideous sweaters that I can find for 12 days before Christmas instead of giving someone 12 gifts. I know, I'm a great person lol. This year not all of the sweaters were hideous, but I did the best that I could with what I had/could find. Also, I discovered that to do the 12 days of Christmas so that the last day is Christmas day you have to start on December 14th... not the 12th.. I don't know why this didn't click in my head until after, but that was the case, so I actually got to wear 14 ugly sweaters :) WIN.
Another tradition that Brandon and I decided to start was something that we did last year just because we didn't have time/money to do anything else! But this year it was planned that way and we had a great time. This tradition is going to Walmart with 15 dollars and 45 minutes with the objective of filling the other person's stocking. It actually turns out to be quite challenging because 15 bucks is not what it used to be and walmart is INSANE in December. It helps you not go overboard with the stocking stuffers though and is just a fun little thing to do.
Christmas was so great this year. I cannot believe how blessed I am to have to many wonderful people in my life and to receive so many thoughtful gifts. I have to say, though, that my favorite gift I received this year was from my dear sweet husband- ROLLER SKATES! My very own :) which is EXACTLY what I wanted! They are adorable. And I get to wear them in the remount of Xanadu! WIN! I got Brandon and Jazz watch and some other stuff, but he has been wearing his Jazz watch every day, so I'm pretty sure he likes it :) Cooper got a dog house (that is actually on lone from Steve because Sheeba and Kaiser died... so sad) and a bunch of new squeaky toys, which are his favorite! He loves the Christmas tree shaped one we got him. I'm not sure why.
Christmas was like Thanksgiving in the sense that we were running around like crazy people making sure that we got to see everyone. Which, like I have said, was crazy, but so worth it. On Christmas Eve we had the Packer family Christmas part (which was an ugly sweater party!!!!), then we went to Cris and Steve's for Christmas with them, then on Christmas morning we went to church, then came home and had Christmas at our house where we opened our presents from each other, then we went to my mom's, then to Colleen's, then to my dad's! It was so nice to spend time with our families.

Well, I think that is all of my catching up that I have to do... So now I'm just going to blab about life at this moment.

Tanya and Jace's baby is due in a month, which is so crazy to me. I am so excited though because I am baby hungry, but not enough to have my own kid just yet. I just want to play with a baby and then give it back to it's mama when it starts to get cranky lol. It's a little girl and I am super happy for them.

I am starting an Etsy shop for my headbands. It is a site online where you can have a little store and people can buy stuff from it and all that jazz. My mom has had a lot of luck with her Etsy shop for her pottery business and she said that I should give it a try. I have made a whole bunch of new headbands to put on there when I "open" the shop. I am pretty excited. I just hope that it ends up being worth it. If not, live and learn eh?

School is about to start again and I can hardly believe that the month of December has flown by so quickly. I am not excited to start school again. I mean, I'm not dreading it, but I'm not anticipating it like I used to when I was younger. It's funny how things change when you get older. Something's don't, like homework always sucks, but something's do, like being excited to go back to school after a long break. Oh well. Life goes on, and I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to go to school at all. I am seriously blessed.

Well, It is super de duper late, and my eyes are finally starting to get heavy so I think I shall bid thee farewell. I will be back soon though with new years resolutions and such :) Everyone have a fabulous New Year's Eve!

p.s. Pictures on the way :)